With the league season over and the 3's having finished a very respectable 3rd, it was onto Halbro Shield action with a home tie against league rivals Old Bedians. With the opposition having no 1st XV game, Stockport knew they were in for a hard match but welcomed back several players into the fold as well as seeing the midget captaincy reversed with Jimmy Finnegan replacing Daniel Cockersmith. After his MOTM performance the previous week, colt Rhys Warhurst kept the 10 shirt meaning a move to full back for Sam Ryder fan Rick Morgan!! With no prior functions on the horizon and no one else wanting him, 2nd row Mel 'Maul' McCaughey also returned however secretly disappeared at half time but more of that later.

The first half of rugby was arguably the best 40 minutes of the season from the home side as they cut the visitors to ribbons. Despite a malfunctioning line out, the open play skill sets were to behold much to the appreciation of the gathering crowd. First try went to the Bearded Bomber prop Jack Booth who must be the top try scorer for the team so far which gave Morgan his first opportunity to tag on the extras which he did with ease. Further unrelenting pressure led to a penalty for Morgan and 10-0 soon became 15-0 as No.8 Lawrence Hiney crashed over for the first of his 2 tries. Just when we thought it couldn't get any better, flanker Tom Renshaw forced his way over which was accompanied by a quality touchline conversion from the metronomic Morgan. Bedians then managed to put some phases together but their charge to the line was illegally stopped by wing Oye Oyewumi coming off the top rope WWE-style and executing a near perfect clothesline which saw him see yellow and the home side reduced to 14 men. This made no difference whatsoever as the backs were now on fire with centre and MOTM Aaron Hussain finding space at will which led to a try and conversion for that man Morgan who was filling his boots from full back (and we couldn't hear him moaning from that far away as welll)!! We even had time for McCaughey to do his brilliant impersonation of Peter O'Mahoney screaming maul, maul maul (complete with irish accent) to the ref which actually did result in a maul and a Stockport scrum. Not to be outdone, fellow lock 'Uncle' Colin Nevett was in imperious rampaging form and at one point must have carried half of the opposition on his back as he repeatedly made inroads into their defence. With Oyewumi now reinstated into the match, he set off on a scorching run for the line which was accompanied with lots of pre-score celebrating from the man himself along with a peace sign leading skipper Jimmy Finnegan into a halfway line rant (more on that later as well) however it was another first half score, improved by Morgan to give the half time score 36-0 to the home team.

With the home side waxing lyrical about how well they had played, McCaughey changed from Peter O'Mahoney to Bruce Wayne as he slipped away from the pitch into the shadows and went home without saying bye or good luck to anyone!!!! When asked later by a secret source as to where he had gone, his reply was "I'll tell you where I went after the match report is written." Clarification is being sought at the time of writing!!!!! Some say he had another party to attend but the strongest rumour is he had gone to the 2nd XV game to beg Kirky to give him a half!!!

As with most matches, the Stockport bench now came into its own with a raft of changes and the 2nd half began. Bedians had clearly decided not to lie down and were first out of the blocks with the first of their 3 second half converted tries. Stockport seemed to fall into the attitude that the game was already won, particularly when Hiney went over for his 2nd try converted by Morgan however despite the score line it was the visitors who were now in the ascendency, primarily due to tackling now being an optional extra for the home side. Things worsened when scrum half Keith Warhurst received his 2nd yellow card of the season for a deliberate knock on. Now I know when I'm guilty and I'll take it on the chin but as far as I was aware, I needed to make contact with the ball for it to be a knock on but hey ho, I wasn't reffing so off I went but safe in the knowledge that my yellow had been trumped by a yellow plus pre-score celebrating for Oyewumi. This 1 man advantage lasted approximately 30 seconds before a Bedians player was sent off for the same offence so with it being 14 per team, the game continued with skipper Finnegan making more changes and another home side try coming from Booth, again converted by Morgan giving the home side another 50 point haul. Still Bedians came back and scored the final 2 tries of the game leading the team to be lambasted by someone called Dom Waterhouse who no one has seen or heard of all season for being a shambles and then into the try area where there appeared to be a number of small children's toys scattered about which had seemingly been thrown out of the pram by Daniel Cockersmith who was also having a rant!!!

The game ended at 50-21 with the Bedians final score being the final act of the game however things were certainly not over in any way as there were a number of things that needed clarification. Firstly, with 2 yellow cards in the game surely the separation for Dick of the Day came down to the fact that Oyewumi was berated by his own skipper for celebrating early however this was ignored as he doesn't drink (neither do I) or had a podcast to record about some fashion accessory but he had time to record the Dick of the Day being presented. Secondly, after a wonderful performance at the back, surely Rick Morgan was up for MOTM however he was another that did a McCaughey and disappeared after the final whistle where it was revealed that he was 'reluctantly' (my arse) going to Liverpool (forced by his partner I believe) to watch that well known chart topper and multi-platinum artist Sam Ryder perform!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But finally, and maybe the most important thing that needs to be addressed was where the hell did McCaughey get to and what was more important than the mighty 3's????? Answers on a postcard please?