Stockport 3's returned to league action and a trip to Derbyshire to face Buxton 1's in a must win game, with the home side just below the visitors in the league table. The team saw Colts Jamie Stewart and Louis Rubin again start in the pack with Lawrence Hiney in at 8 and Seb Valentine playing out of position at 12 whilst 4th XV hooker Lee McLean was promoted into the front row for his undoubted line out skills after the previous week's car crash set piece.

With Buxton hosting its own micro-climate, it was a chilly start to the game which was kicked off by Stockport fly half Rick Morgan who was again in imperious form with the boot. The pre-match build up was all about getting straight into the home team and not taking a backwards step which was soon the case as the visitors dominated the ball, putting the home side immediately on the back foot however it was always the final pass (or decision) that let Stockport down (especially when lock Chris Dodd decided to kick the ball with a 3 man overlap outside him) however he wasn't the only one wasting overlaps during the game. Messrs Valentine, Hussain, Bailey and Hedar seemed intent on trying to run through people than round them (especially when you are the 4 quickest people on the pitch) and so it was left to the forwards to break the deadlock as phase after punishing phase saw Hiney force his way over with an outstretched arm giving Morgan the easiest of conversions and Stockport a 0-7 lead. It was at this point that skipper Mel 'The Irish Seal' McCaughey announced (in all seriousness) that we all need to listen to Keith!!! Such an announcement has never been made before and in all fairness most of the county probably spent the afternoon listening to Keith however it wasn't long before the lead was increased, again with Hiney to the fore. From a scrum that Stockport dominated all game, Hiney broke from the base with scrum half Keith Warhurst and full back Myles Mason in support, and managed to bamboozle the defence leaving Warhurst to take a great line off him (Great Line Ell) and feed the ball to Mason who registered the 2nd Stockport try of the afternoon pushing the lead out to 0-12. The defence and effort was exceptional, with the standard being set by Stewart and Rubin who were all over the field making tackles and carrying hard which led to no let up for the home side who were soon to concede their 3rd try after Morgan, who realised where the space was put through a slide rule style grubber kick which sat up nicely for wing Max 'Thinning' Bailey to scoop up and dot down for another unconverted try seeing the visitors stretch out to 0-17. We then saw the first interjection to the game of the Buxton Sniper who had clearly seen enough of Stockport's dominance and decided to take some decisive action to help aid the home team. This came in the shape of flanker Ben Unwin, who was having an excellent game in the loose and the jackal so clearly he needed to be dealt with. With the try line beckoning, all he had to do was catch the ball and fall over the line to register the 4th try however at the crucial moment and with pinpoint accuracy, the sniper took aim and popped one in the back of Unwin's hand causing him to drop the ball. Least he recovered to hold (and not drop) his head in shame!!!!! This brought the final act of the half and saw Stockport into the half time break with a comfortable if not resounding 0-17 lead, but with their noses in front it was imperative that complacency was not allowed to creep into proceedings.

The second half started as the first had ended with Stockport in the ascendency and it wasn't long before that pressure told as the ball was worked wide to Bailey who outpaced his opposite man and dotted down under the posts for a Morgan converted try and it was 0-24. Not to be outdone, opposite wing Duncan Hedar cleaned up some messy ball and set off on one of his mesmeric runs, with the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack playing in the background. Capt Jack Sparrow was in full flight (and full of rum) as he danced along the gangplank of the Buxton defence with Warhurst demanding that prop Jez Taylor follows Hedar for support at which Taylor replied, "I would if I knew where he was going!!" Taylor was now replaced by Mark 'Paddington' Shiel who had scoffed his marmalade sandwiches on the bench and with his first act forced a turnover, where he saw the crescent but I saw the whole of the moon!!!! Stockport now seemed to switch into complacency mode and with their first meaningful attack, the home side registered a converted score under the posts and in the same passage of play the visitors lost Hiney to injury, replaced by the veteran Dan Eccles who had arrived late due to tyre deflation however it looked as though he was carrying the spare on him!!!!! Bad became worse as Buxton then quickly doubled up and scored their 2nd converted try which led to McCaughey demanding we calm down, stop forcing it and stop giving away penalties. From the restart, McCaughey decided he was Northern Ireland's Olympic representative for the 10m diving board as he leapt over the ruck and dived onto the ball like a mating seal, only to be penalised and give away a penalty!!!!! Stockport had to get back on the front foot and this soon arrived in the shape of Mason who found himself in acres of space, with the try line beckoning and only one man to beat which was done with ease......until the Buxton Sniper struck again and with a bang of his gun seemingly woke the Glossop Mole which saw Mason fall over his own feet and with that the chance went begging. Another phase of play saw Stewart in full flow and on the charge, with Mason and Bailey outside him. He expertly drew the last man and then.............decided to try and run through him which brought a mega tackle from that traitor Nathan Davies and the move came to an abrupt and crumpled end!!! Capt Jack then went on another directionless run during which he seemed to take on, reverse and take on again the whole of the Buxton team and with a yoho me hearties and avast ye landlubbers he dotted down in the corner, as far away from the posts as he could and it was now 14-29.

That bloody sniper had clearly had enough of the jackalling threat of Unwin and this time took no chances as he shot him in the lower leg, leaving him writhing in so much pain that even his uncaring father came on to the pitch to see if he was ok. Having been helped off to the side line, wing Elliot Smith was on seeing Bailey swop wings and Capt Jack into the midfield to partner up with his cabin boy Kung Po Hussain who still insists on calling his fly half Keith instead of his actual name of Rick!!! Stockport were now massively dominant in the scrum with Stewart and Paddington leading the way, whilst competing well at the line out up until Rubin landed on the very sensitive feet of Dodd who now actually looks like he has dropped 2 tonnes of Toblerone on either foot!!!! From one scrum, the visitors had the reversing sensor on the Buxton pack however after approx 40 yards of controlled pushing, the scrum wheeled allowing the Buxton prop to dip his hands into the Stockport scrum and just take the ball, like the Hamburglar but this was ok despite the fact that whilst in reverse he had been on his knees more times than...................well you get it???????? With the game now winding down, it was left to the much vaunted Stockport scrum to notch up the final score as they marched towards the try line, up to the point the Hamburglar reappeared and this time kicked the ball into the visiting front row, the ball then bouncing through the Buxton scrum and behind the try line where panic and chaos ensued. Were we playing on or were we stopping, was there a whistle or wasn't there? Having read chapter 1 of Paul McKenna's How To Influence An Official, Warhurst managed to 'suggest' it should simply be a reset scrum which the ref agreed with and from the reset (and with no Hamburglar skulduggery) the Stockport side marched over the line leaving Eccles to dot down for their 6th try, converted by Morgan and with that the final whistle on a entertaining 14-36 win!!

A great away win for Stockport and it was back to the changing rooms for Rob Unwin's debrief where he systematically tells everyone how badly they have played and what they could have done better, especially Morgan with his kicking!!! It was also noticeable at this point that his son had showered and left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Onto the awards and to be fair lots of people had good games, notably Morgan and his magical boots and Bailey with his 2 tries as well the jackalling Unwin, the marauding Hiney and the line out king Rubin however for his effort all game, this week's MOTM goes to Jamie Stewart.

Now DOTD could have gone to a number of the outside backs and their inability to make full use of overlaps as well as Mason for his clash with the the Buxton Sniper however, this deadly assassin only had his sights set on one man and so this week's DOTD for failing to score the easiest gimme ever, step forward Ben Unwin