Stockport 3's played their penultimate game of the league season with another trip over to leafy Cheshire, this time to face off against Northwich 2's. Northwich were relegated into the 3's league and were Stockport first opponents of the season where they triumphed 31-40 so revenge was on the cards, as well as consolidating 3rd place in the league. A quick reshuffle at the start of the game saw Seb Valentine promoted from the bench to start on the right wing whilst Lucas Brundrett took the left wing berth to accommodate Charlie Chadwick in the back row. With Men's Health poster boy Andy Rimmer away on a family skiing trip, the Warhurst father and son combo took the half back slots whilst the Rushton father and son combo bolstered the pack. Once again led by lock Mel McCaughey MBE, he was deprived the chance of reprising the Meloddy engine room as partner Chris Dodd was nursing a calf injury picked up on Kyle's stag do. This led to Doddy picking up the flag to run touch (more on this later) whilst team mascot Dave Chapelle scampered around with the water bottles.

The warm up saw several seasons of weather, and whilst deliberating tactics and how the weather may affect the game, Lucas Brundrett decided he just fancied a sausage sandwich with loads of red sauce?? Having said that, judging by how his game panned out he probably would have dropped the sandwich anyway!! Having been shoehorned into the smallest changing room, it was decided to hold the pre-match team talk out on the field so after some stirling & rousing words from a slightly hungover McCaughey, it was time to kick off with Stockport starting the game. It was expected to be a physical contest with the opposition pack containing some large units however it was the visitors who made the better start. Some structured phase play saw the ball spun out to Rhys who in turn noted the acres of space and slotted in a lovely kick, however he forgot to tell Valentine who set off running whilst screaming "fucking hell Rhys, at least tell me when you are going to kick!" Despite his frustration, he was now closing in on the last defender who in his defence did not look like a natural winger and having made a complete car crash of picking it up, it was left to Valentine to collect the loose ball and crash over the line for the first unconverted score. Its fair to say that the home side were having a torrid time at the scrum, courtesy of some devilish footwork from hooker Mark Dunnington who was actually hooking, which seemed to come as somewhat of a surprise to the opposition. Another kick ahead was now causing chaos in the Northwich 22, with multiple knock ons and the ball possibly going into touch however the touch judge was nowhere to be seen. The ref's whistle brought the game to a halt a which everyone looked to the sideline to see Doddy stood at the half way line holding the flag, as though he may instantaneously disappear should he cross the whitewash. He tried to defend himself by saying the responsibility for that half of the pitch belonged to the touch judge on the other side, until it was pointed out that's how they run touch in football and we were playing rugby. Doddy then responded by saying he'd never run touch before as he'd never been a sub???? Back to the game and back to scrums, which were still causing an issue for the home side as it wheeled and the No.8 decided to pick up and run the wrong way round the scrum, straight into the arms of the man mountain that was Tom Rushton. Now the Northwich No.8 was not a small chap but Tom took the ball off him like he was being held at gunpoint and then forced his way over the line for a try, converted by Rhys. The game restarted and Northwich just couldn't seem to get out of their half, conceding penalties which saw Rhys kicking to touch. Now right next to the pitch was a small children's play area and as if it was in slow motion, the ball seemed to be heading for 2 young kids on the swings. With Graham showing concern for the welfare of the kids, and son Tom wondering how many extra points you got from knocking the kids off the swings the ball fortunately managed to miss them both. Further issues for the home side scrum saw their hooker deciding he needed to hook and at this, a Stockport 8 man shove saw the Northwich scrum fitted with a reversing sensor and left flanker Ben Unwin to drop onto the ball for another unconverted try and it was now 0-17. The next score came courtesy of some excellent handling in the backs which put Valentine away into space down the right wing. Just as he was being caught, he managed a back handed offload to full back Sam Cavill and he in turn drew the last man before putting centre Paul Knowles in for another unconverted try. Stockport were now 0-22 up and playing probably the best rugby of the season, with everyone just doing their jobs and turning the home side inside out. More phase play put Northwich on the back foot and led to Rhys throwing a wide (and ever so slightly forward) pass which after bobbling around found its way into the hands of Cavill. He managed to recover the situation and created an overlap where his perfectly times pass saw Brundrett over for a try, converted by Rhys and it was now 0-29. Having scored 5 tries, the home side were getting used to practicing their restarts however prop Dave Holehouse was a rock under the high ball which allowed Stockport to safely clear their lines. Doddy was now relieved of the flag duty, and on to replace No.8 Isaac Wall who's own touch judge skills left a lot to be desired as he simply stood leaning against the barrier chatting to Seb's dad and with that came the half time whistle.

The second half started exactly the same as the first, with Rhys putting Valentine over for a converted try and it was now 0-36. With the Northwich prop sustaining a hand injury, it was now uncontested scrums meaning that anyone could play anywhere and also meant we could flood the midfield with our better tacklers. With Chapelle now introduced, he went into the front row in between Tom and Dunnington meaning he wasn't always touching the floor. Chadwick swopped with scrum half Keith Warhurst whilst Unwin swopped with Rhys. Tom then moved to No.8 meaning Doddy needed to move to prop, however when he was told this his facial expression looked like he'd just discovered we had all taken a dump on his bed!! We now had the unusual situation of having 2 sets of fathers and sons in the pack, with the Warhursts safely sandwiched in between the Rushtons. The Northwich scrum half was asking where he should stand, and was unfortunately directed into the channel where Tom was clearly going to aim for and he literally ran over the poor lad like he was wafting away an irritating fly. With 2 players now hanging onto the back on Tom's shirt, and him still moving one of them was heard to shout, "Fuck me, this is like being on a dog sled." Tom was next on the score sheet as the defensive sea parted ahead of him (as in defenders moving OUT of the way) which made it 0-41 and we were well on our way to McCaughey's half time demand that we concede no points. Unfortunately this didn't last as from a line out, Dunnington managed to throw the ball like he was having a stroke and the home side were the first to react, and despite the best efforts of Brundrett managed to cross to make it 5-41 after the Northwich fly half managed to slip during his conversion, but was comforted by his dog. A break from McCaughey and offload to Unwin led to his second try, only for it to be ruled out for a dubious forward pass however not to be outdone, from a ruck centre Will Mannion swooped in and ran straight through the middle to score the 8th try for the visitors. The final score fittingly went to McCaughey who JUST managed to get over the line having been hunted down in the slowest footrace anyone has ever seen, however his only other option was to pass to Keith and he would rather have dropped the ball than done that!!

With the clock ticking away, more moves from Stockport saw Mannion put the ball through a gap only for no one to be on the end of it. The loose ball was collected by the Northwich centre however there was clearly someone on a grassy knoll as he was snipered inches from the line. The supporting players managed to get hold of the ball and force their way over for a converted try and with that, the final whistle and an awesome 12-51 scoreline cementing 3rd place in the league.

Onto the awards and a number of contender for Player of the Match including the mercurial running of Sam Cavill and in contrast, the bulldozing of prop Tom Rushton however playing out of position, scoring 2 tries and being a threat all day this week's winner is Seb Valentine.

Onto Dick of the Day and as always there were contenders. Lucas Brundrett for having hands like cow's udders and explaining to me in the car home why trains and trams have speed limits and traffic lights but aeroplanes don't?? Dunnington and his unexplainable line out throw that led to the Northwich try as well as Graham Rushton for squealing like a stuck pig over nothing. However I think with his touch judge work and his disgust at going into prop, it has to go to Chris Dodd.