The mighty Stockport 4's were back on home turf at Headlands Road, and as the only game being staged at home were able to grace the main pitch which was a bonus to the massive crowd who were able to seek shelter from the rain in the JLB stand. The 4's gave senior debuts to No.8 Roan Hill, lock George Curzon and winger Oliver Watson as well as a Stockport debut to prop Gareth Dickinson. With Jim Hilliard dropping out and such is his standing, he was replaced by not 1 but 2 men in the shape of Simon 'Robbie Fowler' Warner and the return of everyone's favourite Welshman Llewelyn Coveney-Winter (spelt correctly, I checked your GMS so if its wrong its your fault) who came complete with his benchwarmer jacket which had massive pockets for his vape and refills if required.

In the spirit of all that is good about rugby and having only had 6 confirmed players on Wednesday evening, Littleborough travelled over with 10 players who were bolstered by the arrival Dave Heywood, the Squirrel Whisperer himself Kev McCarthy, Olly Gruffudd and the perennially late Owen Houghton. Now there is one thing being late for the meet, or late for the warm up but to be late for the actual kick off when you were literally just stood on the pitch is astounding. As we were only allowed to play with 1 player more and with Houghton doing his best Houdini impression, regular skipper Conor Osbiston stepped off the pitch so we could at least start the game and away we went. I say away we went like it was some frenetic battle however the early exchanges were more akin to walking rugby, with the visitors adopting a very simple game plan leaving the home side to absorb the pressure and try to steal the ball. The ball was indeed eventually stolen leading to the first carry of the game from Hill who barged through some paper thin defence and was heading full steam towards the line only to be tap tackled. This only delayed the inevitable as he regained his feet and crashed over for his debut try, converted by full back Joe Laxton. Very soon after this, Charlie Skelly found himself one on one with McCarthy who did his best impression of a revolving door as Skelly was in under the posts for another Laxton converted try. With Hilliard providing live score updates on WhatsApp, it was left to Will Mannion to comment that "the Colts are running the show" despite the fact that Skelly is no longer a Colt, something you would expect Mannion to know given they played together in the same team? It was already one way traffic and Hill was enjoying all of it, hoping that senior rugby was always this easy as he helped himself to a second try which was converted by Laxton in drop goal fashion after the ball fell off the tee. It took him 0.2 milliseconds to mention this drop goaled conversion just in case any of his team mates had missed it and didn't mention it to him later on. 21-0 then became 28-0 and then 35-0 after outside centre Karlis Priekulis strolled over for a try followed by a 2nd for Charlie Skelly, both converted by Laxton. There could have been 2 further tries however both Warhurst boys contrived to cock this right up. Firstly Rhys decided to ignore a 3 man overlap by trying to throw an unneeded wonder pass and then Keith realised that top gear redlining in a tractor is still a tractor and was caught short with the line at his mercy. Comically, Rhys then decided to get tucked into his dad for this failing seemingly forgetting he had blown a much simpler option moments earlier!! He did almost redeem himself with 50-22 only for Priekulis to decide he was right, the ref was wrong and he was behind the kicker despite being told to retreat several times. Skipper Osbiston then got in on the act with a try of his own, converted by Laxton which led to more social media claims, this time from the self proclaimed Durk, or the Durkster or Big D who rightly commented on how well we can play without him. With that came the half time whistle with the score line showing a hefty 42-0 to Stockport.

Half time saw a few pearls of wisdom from Osbiston who now decided to take one for the team and play for the opposition where he was joined by Dave Holehouse, Laxton and Elliot Skelly who was clearly sick of seeing his brother score and was going to stop him. The second half started with an unconverted try from scrum half Toby Piatt (more on him later) and then a hat trick try (on debut) for Hill meaning his parents were going to have a buy a jug. Littleborough then managed to craft a try of their own after Laxton threaded through a kick which was grounded by the visitors and it was now 52-7. With Osbiston playing for the opposition, regular stand in skipper Ged Gurney had also taken himself off handing the captaincy to Keith. With Keith now having departed, the home team were now under the guidance of their 4th captain of the day as Rhys took over the armband, but not that he was aware of course. Rhys then swapped with Laxton leaving Stockport completely rudderless and it showed as Rhys combined with Elliot Skelly and sent him over under the posts for a converted score and it was now 52-14. Debutant George Curzon then got in on the act, having shown his pace in the wide channels to register another unconverted score before the 2nd jug of the day was secured as Charlie Skelly completed his hat trick, converted by Laxton meaning his parents now needed to by a jug. By now everyone was trying everything despite being told by Gurney to keep it simple and this led to an awful cross field kick attempt from Piatt (not his biggest misdemeanour, that was still to come). Despite the one sided contest, Littleborough refused to lie down and with Rhys banging 2 more 50-22's, it helped edge them into the home side 22. McCarthy then sprung to life at full back and began dancing through defenders like a squirrel on a branch with a full sack of nuts. It was at this point where you could literally hear the cogs whirring in the head of replacement hooker Lee McClean and no matter what, Kev was getting smashed. The fact that this smashing was so late after the ball it could have taken place next week, and despite Kev throwing the world's worst forward pass had no bearing on anything McClean was thinking. There was still time for one more score, however this was not to come from Piatt who went to field a clearing kick, knocked it on and then still had the audacity to try a drop goal which didn't get any higher off the floor than a snake's belly. The final score however did come and it was a 2nd of the day for Priekulis leaving the final score at 67-14.

Another massive result for the 4's however the bigger picture here was the fact that the game even went ahead so a massive thanks to the 10 men of Littleborough for travelling over. Also a massive thanks to any Stockport player who volunteered to put on a Littleborough shirt and put a shift in.

Onto MOTM and there were a number of contenders including hat trick hero Roan Hill as well as George Curzon and Olly Watson on debut however the award was finally given to Charlie Skelly for his hat trick and possibly the fact he left Kev on his arse twice!!

Onto DOTD and again a number of contenders here. Rhys for preventing Olly Watson scoring his debut adult try as well as Karlis for trying to take a quick tap when it was a scrum for a knock on. Olly Gruffudd, after spending a half playing for Littleborough and the immortal line, "that was the worst rugby experience of my life". We also had Karlis for inexplicably not scoring the easiest try in the world as well as Keith for having the top line speed for a snail in glue however for the awful knock on followed by the horrendous drop goal, it had to go to Toby Piatt.