On the back of 2 previous league wins, the mighty 4's were on the road making the longer journey to leafy Cheshire facing off against Crewe & Nantwich 3's. So far this season, the home side hadn't actually played a game so the visitors were unsure as to what to expect however they were bolstered with an avalanche of subs (that weren't due to play) with Chris Weeks and Keith Warhurst joining Gareth Dickinson and Gordon 'My Wife Says I Can Play' Fenton. Prior to kick off, news broke that the tackle shield injury sustained by The Durk on the Thursday night was to prevent him from playing and captain Ged Gurney wasted no time installing himself at No.8, again avoiding a stint in the engine room with Connor Coveney-Winter replacing Big D. Wing James Dawson was driven to the game by our very own perma-tanned Squirrel King, who used the time and technology wisely with ChatGPT explaining to them both how to actually play on the wing.

Having all managed to make the hike to the pitch, we were joined by the ref for the pre-match chat where we couldn't contain ourselves as we waited for THAT question.......how any front row replacements do you have?? At this point, 8 arms shot up to join the 3 who were actually starting in the front row meaning that Stockport were again at the fore front of bucking playing trends. Not only were we putting out 4 senior teams but we had a full starting pack made up solely of front row forwards as well as 3 front row replacements on the bench!!!! With the weather perfect for rugby, the game kicked off and it was Stockport who fired the early shots however they just kept on turning the ball over and this, combined with the tackling skills of a turnstile saw the home side take an early 5-0 lead. Undeterred, Stockport threw themselves back into the match and on the back of the first of a flurry of home side yellow cards (which may have gone unnoticed if not for the Oscar winning performance of full back Joe Laxton and his shrieking at the ref) fly half Rhys Warhurst eventually managed to bundle himself over and it was 5-5. Things were going well.....until we decided to stop tackling all together and decided to play traffic cop, waving everyone through and before you could blink, 5-5 was 22-5 and the visitors were under the cosh. Whilst all this was taking place, centre Olly McAleer decided to bring up last night's tea and maybe even this morning's breakfast pitchside (and we're talking full chunks here, not the usual watery stuff) to decorate his match shirt and boots in vomit. This lead to several speculations as to the reasons why including illness or the usual hangover however it was simply down to new medication, not that his dad looked too impressed. With the half drawing to a close, Stockport were able to get back onto the scoreboard with a first ever senior try for wing James Dawson (see ChatGPT does work) and the conversion from Laxton made it 22-12 at the break.

With front rows replacing front rows but not in front row positions, the second half started badly as we gifted Crewe a converted try and it was now 29-12, with the game in the balance of running away from us. Stockport decided to grab the bull by the horns and came roaring back with a converted try from Laxton making it 29-19 however Crewe then scored again to make it 34-19. Stockport refused to go away, and with Keith replacing McAleer in the centre he was able to put wing Kev McCarthy away who outpaced the defence like there was a bag of nuts waiting on the try line for him. The game was swinging this way and that, with both teams turning defence into attack and one such break lead to Laxton screaming out as though he had been deliberately punched to the face, however everyone could see it was a hand off and he needed to be lower in the tackle. He then took umbridge at the fact that the Crewe player was using his kicking tee to try and slot a conversion, something he remonstrated to the ref about but to no avail. All of this clearly lit a fire under him as his next contribution was to arrive late on a great line to take the scoring pass and we were back in the game. Not content with being back in the game, we then went ahead by 2 points as Laxton bagged his hat trick and we were now in the ascendency. Scrum half Toby Piatt was now flagging after his mum had made him go for a 5k run that morning, whilst the puke machine McAleer was back on to replace Dawson who had hurt his pinky. Despite the best efforts of the lads, Crewe managed to barge their way over for a try which took them back into the lead however there was still time to strike back. At the scrum, we just need prop Llewelyn Coveney-Winter but do a bit and push, encouraged by Keith.............until Llewelyn pointed out he was actually stood on the touchline having been subbed off!!! Unfortunately Crewe managed to secure their own ball and clear their lines to take a 46-41 victory.

Now usually after the match not much happens but there are some things that need to be reported on. Firstly we have the Crewe hooker, who upon realising that Keith & Rhys are father and son decided to impart some pearls of wisdom on Rhys by pointing out that Keith has forgotten more than he knows about rugby (get in there, whoever you are)!!! Then we have our loveable bouncer Max Crabtree, who having been given some advice about carrying the ball from Keith asked if he had any more tips but Keith decided one per week was probably enough. Into the changing rooms where Llewelyn, who had just played the game with his son couldn't work out who the second father/son partnership was after Rhys and Keith??? However, we then got into the bar where Max decided that not only is Kev a good looking lad, but that he could be the forwards version of Kev and decreed that he and Kev could be the pretty boys of the backs and forwards respectively!!!

Onto the awards and as usual we start with Player of the Match and there were a few nominations here. Keith was actually in the running having been voted Stockport's player of the match by the opposition as well as James Dawson for his first senior try however for scoring 21 points, including a hat trick of tries it has to go to Joe Laxton.

The now more coveted Dick of the Day and we have lots to discuss. Olly McAleer and his inability to keep his food down AND then leave his boots behind? Max for just being Max. The Durk aka Big D for being taken out by a tackle bag (held by Rick Morgan and his chocolate wrist I believe) and not even making the game. Gordon for openly admitting he seeks his wife's permission to play. Max for being the last person of 8 to down a pint for being our nominated Dick of the Day (and being beaten by backs) as well as Kev and his ChatCPT Rugby Manager however......its not often this happens but.........

When you scream to the ref every time you are tackled, scream to the ref when you are handed off and scream to the ref cos someone is using your kicking tee its a double award day for full back Joe Laxton.