Another sunny weekend and the first game of the vets league calendar, entertaining last year’s runners up, Chester on the 2nd team pitch. Arriving with just 12 men, (to Stockport’s full compliment of 15), the Chester captain asked for a man, and Martin Christie kindly did his bit for the cause by pulling on an opposition shirt. (Thanks Martin). Losing the toss, Stockport started the game playing towards the club house.

Despite starting one man less than Stockport, 13 man Chester, consisting of 11 forwards, were unsurprisingly very strong and committed up front, especially in the scrum. So much so that the initial cultural exchanges were limited to Aide, Scobie and Tim learning to write Japanese on their underpants… Despite this, on 12 minutes Stockport managed to spin the ball out to Lee Percival whose exquisite scampering in a terrific solo 80 yard effort run for home up the left wing led to the first try of the game under the posts. 7-0. A familiar pattern developed. Grunts and groans of forwards colliding whilst Stockport somehow managed to retrieve possession and spin out to the backs again, culminating in a touchline hugging irish jig of speedy proportions from Brian Quinn finishing nicely under the posts.14-0. Just 4 minutes later the same pattern was repeated as the visitors struggled to get round the park, divided by the incisive running of Stockport backs finished again by Quinny.21-0.

A quick reply followed on 20 minutes from a good Chester move going through the phases and breaking through Stockport’s right flank (21-5) quickly followed by a rolling maul on the other side of the pitch by their forwards 5 minutes later to give the game a more balanced (and to be honest more realistic) look. 21-10. (Please note: Martin Christie was never in line for Dick of The Day despite his pivotal role for Chester in setting up their 2nd try, but please don’t do it again Martin. You have been warned……)

A cautionary, (sorry Dick of The Day) moment must now be shared. Despite all the incisive finishing, 25 minutes gone, Scobie was put through on the left wing 11 yards out with just a short hop skip and a jump into the front row annals of Stockport Rugby Club history. However, the apathy virus hit (i.e. couldn’t be arsed) or more positively he decided to offer the opportunity for glory to someone inside… and the moment was lost.

A hot and sapping first half was closed out on 28 minutes with the try of the match – and what a belter it was. Third phase ball coming out of attritional work from the forwards in midfield ended in Scobie with the ball in hand. He popped it out of the tackle to Rob Zelinka, who probably wished he’d brought his ear defenders from work, such was the decibel count on the bellowing for the ball from the mesmeric Arthur Bell, who quickly fed Dave Hawley in space who popped it to Hugh Crosbie. Some great interplay down the left flank between Hugh and Quinny led to a terrific try under the posts for Mr Crosbie for his first of the day. 28-10. Half time.

Second half got underway, and with the low sun in the Chester eyes the up and under was the order of the day. A quick Stockport try without conversion (33-10) and then a simple yet classic move for another. From the right of midfield Arthur Bell punted up to the left of the Chester posts deep inside their 22. A perfect salmon like leap from Hugh Crosbie pretty much in the clear but under severe pressure from a very light to light breeze led to a juggling act that hadn’t been seen round these parts since Gerry Cottle last came to town. Despite contriving to drop the ball and snatch a knock on out of the jaws of certain glory, Hugh relented, caught the ball on the 26th or 27th juggle, eventually falling over the line in embarrassment. 40-10. 2 tries for Hugh (not bad for a forward in the backs to be fair).

A classic comedy (for Stockport) yet painful (for Chester) moment followed. Due to Aide developing a bit of a neck problem, Stockport initially requested uncontested scrums at this point. However on the following Chester kick off, who did the ball drop to? Aide caught it like a Harlem Globetrotter and proceeded to batter his way over three lines of tacklers (the furthest a Chester player flew was c. 8 feet) before finally being brought down. Needless to say this sequence of play convinced all his neck might be feeling a bit better and we went back to contested scrums not long after.

Stockport then became complacent. Too much running from their sharp witted backs had led the pack to fall asleep, which can hurt you against Chester. Two bruising (but unconverted) forward driven tries were scored by the visitors up the hill in quick succession reminding the Stockport pack they were still in a game. 40-20. This was also reflected by the body count. Stockport lost Andy Wailes with a dislocation, after which resembled more like a mangled pipe cleaner than a finger, and during a forward exchange defending his own line, Scobie got a knock to the chin. While it was spurting claret, Tim slapped a big lump of vas on to stop the flow. Scobie asked how did it look, to which after initially being told he’d need a couple of stitches, the reply deftly came, “bad new, the modeling career is over…..”. At this awful news Scobie turned tail and ran off to the changing room to call his agent and plastic surgeon. He was later seen wandering around Stepping Hill looking for a needle and thread to do it himself, such was the absence of doctors. A nasty gash though. Get well soon mate…

A final mutual rollocking having been (self-)administered by all, Stockport stepped it up with 12 players against Chester’s now 13. Another great try after good work by all, run in by Brian Quinn under the posts was converted by Lee, as the clock ticked down. 47-20. Great Hattrick Quinny. The game again went uncontested due to a Chester front row injury. There was still a few minutes left when Stockport rallied for the half century. A quick line out on the lower (left) touchline to the front surprised everyone including Stockport. A classic short throw (I mean really short, it was about 3 yards…) to the first lifter in the lineout saw Tim snaffle the ball up from outside the 22 to ghost through in a blancmange-like fashion to the left of the posts, having deciding that Lee bitching at him for not going under the posts was better than Dick of the Day for possibly dropping the ball having actually got over the line for Stockport to reach the half century. Final score 52-20.

Man of the Match was a close call, between Lee Percival and Quinny, with the latter just getting the nod. Lee was awarded the sherry moment for his terrific opening try. Dick of the Day was a tough one as it should have been Scobie for the his 11 yards out apathy attack to not score in the first half but as he was at the beauty parlour, it harshly went to Hugh for his Pierro The Clown juggling act for his second try off Arthur’s great kick. Thoroughly undeserved, he took it great spirit as we would expect from such a stalwart.

No place to hide for Stockport’s next vets league game, 11th October at home to Macclesfield who will be annoyed at losing their first match 34-17 to Manchester and no doubt will be looking for blood. We will need to play much better up front if we are to give our dancing back line some ball to show how good we know they really are.

Strap your ribs up Arthur. More of the same on the 11th please.

A BIG thank you to Aide, who is moving to Canada, and was playing his last game for the club. Good luck in your new life over there and we hope you enjoyed the send off...
(That’s next year’s tour sorted…)